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YOU AND YOUR RESIDENTIAL ADVISER
It might be natural to look at the RA of your
floor, as well as any other residential staff, as replacement of
parental authorities and then try to have as little contact with them as
possible. That would be a mistake. In the first place, they don't want
to be your parents and would prefer to never have to exercise any
authority. But if the occasion arises that you do run afoul of them, if
you're on good terms, you'll be a lot better off than if they hardly
know you.
Case: Jane
Jane was an only child, and her parents catered to
her every whim. She had never shared a room with anybody, and the
experience of not being in charge was a little overwhelming to her. She
was barely communicating with her roommates. She didn't complain, but
when her mom found out, she didn't hesitate to get on the phone with
Fran, the dorm's RA.
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Fran went to investigate, and though it was clearly
Jane's fault, the rift between roommates seemed too big to heal, so she
helped Jane switch rooms. It didn't take very long for Jane to have
similar problems with this new roommate. Fran decided that Jane needed
some special attention, so she took her under her wing. They spent long
hours talking, and eventually Jane realized that, when living with a
roommate, she couldn't always have her way and that she had to learn to
compromise.
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Jane and Fran ended up becoming friends and actually shared
a room the next year. Obviously not every case resembles this one with
Jane. Sometimes an RA has to be the bad guy and enforce the rules.
Usually it's because the students have not just put their toe over the
line, but have gone 100 yards beyond it. But while RAs are not looking
for confrontations, they do have the weight of the entire college on
their side, so if one of them gets on your case for behavior that you
know is against the rules, don't try to give them a hard time. Instead,
say you're sorry and try to clean up your act.
RAs are a good source of information about your
campus, so make a point of talking to them when you have a chance. You
never know what useful information you might learn, and you even might
make a friend.
Never hesitate to go to an RA with a problem. You
can always tell them that you don't want them to intervene, but they
might have a suggestion that will be really useful to you. Also, by
reporting a problem early on, if you later do need assistance, you'll
have proved to the RA that this is not just a one-time occurrence. Try
to extend your level of contact with dorm staff to include the resident
director and others. They too may one day be of service and certainly
can provide you with good information. This is the information age and
you can never have too much, so use these valuable resources.
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Additional Resources on College Life include:
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